Some foundations are built to shape you. Others are built to control you. I learned the difference early.
Chapter One
I was always the youngest kid in my class. Technically, I started school at three years old. Soon after that whole bathroom ordeal with Mom, I started Kindergarten-4 at Grace Christian School at the local Baptist Church.
Starting school that early had a bigger impact on my life trajectory than anything else. Everywhere I went, from then on out, I was the youngest. To this day, I don’t understand how the system allowed it. Maybe it was God’s will.
School was sensory overload. I had never been around so many kids at the same time, kids of all skin colors and backgrounds. This was also my first experience of structure. We were wildlings at home—especially in the summer, roaming around the back hills with no adult supervision.
GRACE CHRISTIAN
But at Grace Christian, there were rules and plenty of ’em. Girls were required to wear knee-length dresses, have long hair, and wear slips and stockings. Unlike the boys, we were not allowed to wear shorts, even under our dresses or during gym. It was basically Amish country without the bonnet.
Grace Christian was my first introduction to Good vs. Bad. Hook, line, and sinker, I was a Believer. I would have dreams about smoking or doing bad things and wake up in a panic that I was going to Hell.
At this point, our life was the Bible. Everything reflected back to scripture or a psalm.
When graduating K-5, we were all gifted the Christian Character Bible, Student Edition. You won’t find the first few pages in the King James Version—complete with “Personality Traits to Enhance Your Christian Life,” featuring bangers like:
”Self-control: bringing one’s body under subjection through instant obedience to the Holy Spirit.”
“Obedience: submission to God and those whom he puts in authority over me.”
“Purity: keeping yourself uncontaminated from the world, the flesh, and the Devil.”
And on, and on.
Rules dictated my early life. At school, it was the preacher’s commanding presence. At home, it was Mom’s relentless enforcement. In Alabama, it was the state’s Blue Laws. These regulations banned anything other than worship on Sundays; stores were not open, people did not work, and you certainly weren’t allowed to buy alcohol.
NO CUTS
One day, a girl cut in line for the slide. I was so swept up in Right v. Wrong that my knee-jerk reaction was to yank her to the ground while yelling, “No Cuts!”
The gasps around me were immediate. Right had just become Wrong. Minutes later, I was in the head preacher’s office, a scared five-year-old sitting across from someone who thought he was God himself. His booming voice made it clear where my actions would lead: straight to Hell. Tears flowed as I was sure my fate down under was sealed.
THE CRASH
Toward the end of the school year, Mom left my 12-year-old brother in charge one afternoon as she sped off down our dusty one-lane road. Within minutes, she came stumbling back toward the trailer, blood streaking her face, eyes wide with panic.
“I rolled the car,” her voice trembled.
The wreck left us stranded for months. Town was too far to walk. With no wheels or other transportation nearby, we were isolated from the life we had known.
BACKSLIDERS
When we finally returned to church, eyes—who supposedly didn’t judge others—followed us down the aisle. As the preacher announced the sermon for the day, he stared right at us.
“Backsliders,” he thundered, “are those who turn away from God’s grace.”
I sat frozen in the pew, stealing glances at Mom. Her knuckles whitened around her Bible, her face unreadable except for a flicker of shame. On the way home, she barely spoke, her silence louder than the rumble of gravel.
Finally, she whispered, “We are finding a new church. And you girls are going to public school.”
Suddenly, the rules changed.
The Expert Generalist Lesson 1: ADAPTABILITY IS A SUPERPOWER
When you think something will be your foundation, it can shift at a moment’s notice. Change in life is inevitable. What is fully under your control is whether you choose to embrace it or resist it. You can either change your environment or change your mindset.
✍️ When was the last time a change you didn’t choose became the best thing for you? Hit reply—I’d love to hear.
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